Yes, life is hard sometimes more than others, we all go through tough situations but how much we let those situations affect us and how we respond is our choice and the way we respond can make the situation better or worse.
Most of react in a negative way to even small things or situations, we let simple and small situations take complete control of us, of our emotions, our thoughts and our actions and we end up making everything worse than it actually is. If we let this happen with small things then when we´re in a really tough situations we break apart emotionally and mentally, but there´s a tool we can use to help us get the most out of any challenge, every situation and every moment, this tool is reframing.
It doesn´t matter how bad everything seems to be, it doesn´t matter how big a challenge seems to be or how tough any situation appear you always have the choice to see that challenge or that tough situation from another angle, another perspective or another view. Instead of letting your mind just focusing on the negative you train your mind to focus on the positive, to find every positive outcome and solution so you are opened to more possibilities and you lower stress.
Most of us when something happen we get stuck in our perspective, we view everything just from one side or one frame and in most cases it´s negative so by changing that perspective and seeing the situations from another side or another frame we open ourselves to different possibilities, we get more insights of what´s happening, we understand more so our thoughts, emotions and actions change.
Most of us let small things get in the way, in this happens every single day so since we´re used to get stuck in one negative frame for everything that happens to us and we need to train our mind to reframe every situations we can start with those small ones until we reframe all situations unconsciously.
Here are the steps you need to follow to reframe any situation:
1.- Describe the situation you´re going through.- Try to find out what caused that situation and everything that happened
2.- Be aware of your beliefs.- Make a list of all the thought and beliefs you got in your mind related to that situation
3.- Make a list of the possible results and consequences.- The way we respond and act in every situation goes according to our thoughts, beliefs and emotions so think about how you’d act, what you would do and the results of those actions.
4.- Now take the list from steps 2 and 3, read them and think about them. You´ll find out that they´re negative and you´ll get negative results.
5.- Challenge your thoughts and beliefs from step 2 and turn them into positive by looking at the situation from another angle, think about all the positive outcomes that can come from it.
6.- Analyze the situation and think about what you have control over, once you define what you have control over think about what you can do with those options to get the best results.
This takes time and practice, most of us react to all situations, we don´t stop to think about what´s really happening, what you have control over, what´s the best option and what you can do. We´ve been educated to react instantly without thinking on the consequences and this only makes the problem and situation worse, it can lead to big mistakes in the future and increases stress. If you practice this with small events with time you´ll find it easier and easier and with enough practice you´ll go through this process instantly which leads to better choices and results.
Here is an exercise you can do that is a little quicker, the next time you are going through a hard event or situation start by thinking of what are the things you can control, once you recognize them think about what´s the best choice, action or thing you can do to get the best results. Always think a positive outcome and how you can use what you can control to get those results.
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