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Focus on what you can control

10_ACHIEVING OUR GOALS DEPENDS OF US

Every single day we go through so many different situations, some of them good and some bad, we do have control over some of them so we can change the outcome by taking action and doing something different and we don´t have control over others, but we can still make that situation worse or maintain it as it is by the way we respond.

There are some situations that we can control, for most of us this situations we do have control over are small but crucial they can make a huge difference on our days and life, some examples are exercise, diet, quality of sleep, our emotions, what we read and listen to, who we spend time with, what we do on our spare time, our values, how hard we work, our perspective in any situation. These small things can change our life completely once we realize we have control over them and start taking that control back.

We have control over what we eat, if we decide to eat healthy foods we can start doing it now, we don´t need external sources to make that happen, when we go to the gym we are in control of our workout and how hard we exercise, we can have total control of the quality of our sleep we only need to develop a sleep routine to make sure the amount of sleep we get is the best possible. We have control over what we read and listen to, we can read news and spend a lot of time on social media or we can read a book and listen to podcasts, we can spend time with people we love and care about and want to see us succeed or we can spend time with people who don´t support us.

For most of us in most cases it´s really hard to make sure that any situation or project is going to end the way we want, we can do our best and think about all the outcomes positive and negative to be prepared but there´s always something outside of our control, the bigger the project or situation the possibilities of something going wrong increases and there are more things outside of our control.

In the situations where everything is outside of our control, there´s still something we do have control over, how we respond. If we are stuck in traffic, if our flight was delayed, if the package was delayed, if it´s raining, etc; this are situations outside of our control it doesn´t matter if we shout or scream to the flight attendant or to the girl or guy next to us, it doesn´t matter how much we pray, the situation won´t change and all those negative reactions will only make the situation worse. What we can do here is respond in the best way possible, we do not have control over the situation and everything that´s happening, but we do have control over our emotions and the way we respond.

Do not let something outside of you, something external whether it´s a person or situation control your thoughts, emotions and actions. When we let someone or something outside control us we are only reacting and in most cases this reactions only make the situation worse.

Being able to control how we respond on situations outside of our control is hard, in a way we know there´s nothing we can do to improve the situation, we know that yelling to someone will not make the flight leave on time, we know that we can pray and hope for the rain to stop but it won´t stop the rain, but still most of us can´t control our emotions at those moments.

The first step is to identify each situation, knowing which ones are outside of your control and which ones are within your control, when you know which situations are within your control think about what you need to do and take action, for the situations outside of your control you can still control how you respond so in this case what you need to do is stop, take a step back to calm and relax. We all know that in some situations it´s better to do nothing, to just sit there and wait until that situation is over in a calm way but most of us are not able to do this so by taking a step back and taking the time to consciously calm yourself you are able to let that situation end without making it worse.

Whether we have control over the situations or not there´s always something we can do, if we have control then we need to take action, if we don´t have control we can still control our emotions and respond in a way that can keep that situation neutral instead of reacting and making the situation worse.

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Pam