Have you ever shared your goals with a friend or family member? what was your experience? did they support you or did they told you you´re crazy and you won´t make it?
From what I´ve seen the response to the questions above will vary according to how ambitious your goals are, the more ambitious you are and the bigger your goals it´s more possible that people will tell you that you will fail, if your goals are small it´s more likely that people will support you.
The problem is that when we´re working on a big goal there will be times where we doubt ourselves, we may think that maybe those people we´re right and we are not capable of achieving those big goals, this moments when we doubt ourselves we need someone who believes in us, that help us increase our confidence to get back to work and continue our journey towards our goal, the problem is when we share our goal with someone who doesn´t support us they can even want to see us fail and prove us that they were right and we were wrong. If we see them often they will ask about how we´re doing and if we had achieved that amazing goal and if we respond negatively they laugh.
Most of us are really worried about what people think and say about us and when someone says to us the famous phrase “I told you won´t make it, I told you we are not good enough, I told you you were crazy” the impact of this phrases in our brain can be lethal in a way that we can give up especially if they come from someone we trust and we felt comfortable enough to share our goal. If we want to continue pursuing our goal we may go through stress caused by the anxiety and fear that comes from setting a big goal, plus the moments when we fail and the negative comments from people we trusted.
Whit this most of us may give up feeling like failure, like not being good enough and not deserving better stuff and we can end living short to our potential, not living the way we want to live and stay in a comfort zone, we prefer to stay stuck because now we belief that we´re not good enough, that we´re not capable.
If we are strong enough mentally to keep going even after people laughed at us and the negative comments it we can work a lot harder to prove them wrong and we want to do it as fast as possible, this creates urgency and gives us total concentration on our goal and we take massive action but most of us don´t have this type of mindset and it takes time and effort to develop it but once we get it we will achieve big goals.
Another way sharing our goals can increase stress is because most of the times we share them with people we feel more comfortable and we know they´re going to support us but some of them have big expectations from us and they set the bar really high so we want to exceed those expectations so we can get anxious of not delivering, of not even meeting those expectations and that constant worry of not being good enough, of wanting to exceed expectations creates anxiety and if we´re not aware it can lead to stress.
It´s not about what people expects of us, it´s about doing our best and giving our all in everything we do, we do not need to work trying to impress someone, we do not need to focus on perfection we need to focus on progress, on learning and improving and focus on excellence, what´s the best work we can do with our abilities and skills today and how can we make it better than yesterday.
If we spend time thinking and worrying or what others say and think of us, on impressing others or trying to exceed expectations we will get anxious and stressed, we need to focus on exceeding our own expectations and impressing ourselves.
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